SLUTBURBIA - Chapter Two - The Uninvited

"Motherfucker!" Jenny yelled when her tire popped the curb.  She hated parking her hybrid in the street, but Juanita's Bitch Book Club friends had blocked her driveway again.  It was Wednesday, and that meant every stupid slut her neighbor pretended to like would be across the street pretending to talk about books they pretended to read.  Fucking Book Club.  Pffffft.  If they did read, it was books like Homeopathic Remedies for Genital Herpes Suppression or Shit You Shouldn't Feed Your Troubled Kids.  Those bitches didn't read real books.

Yet here they were, blocking her driveway while they sat around Juanita's living room in their white linen capri pants and their Ed Hardy bedazzled Louboutin's.  Another night of wine and cheese and pseudo-lesbian exhibitionism.  They'd stay late and leave drunk, then they'd go home to their perfect husbands and their shitty kids.  In the morning they'd sleep in, nursing their hangovers while Jenny peeled another one of their lacey hot pink B cups off of her windshield before she could leave for work.  

Jenny wouldn't have dreamed of socializing with Juanita or any of those other fucking idiots, not that she had to worry about them asking.  They'd never sink so low.  Be friendly to the poor single fat girl who disgraced their upscale neighborhood with her size fourteens and her career?  Please.  That was something else these selfish cunts didn't know anything about- work.  They spent their days at the spa, shopping online and reading labels at Whole Foods.  They had maids and nannies and complained about giving their husbands blow jobs because sex would have irritated the freshly waxed snatches they were saving for the bevy of golf caddy frat boys at the club. 

Jenny let the car keys dangle from her hand as she brushed past a black Mercedes.   She was too much of a coward to scratch the car deliberately, but if she was lucky the keys might cause some accidental damage.  Maybe next time that bitch would pay better attention to where she parked, but probably not.

Weird.  Neighbor Boy had a blue tarp hanging in his front window.  He must not have had time to get out and buy any curtains.  Jenny hadn't figured out what he did for a living yet either, his truck was always visible through the garage window, but Mr. Tall, Dark and Holy SHIT Fine was nowhere to be seen.  As far as she could tell, nobody else had been in or out of the house the last few days either.  Maybe he was single.  Fucking score.  

She'd have to drum up the courage to go over and introduce herself before Juanita had a chance to blow him and ruin it.  That slut had already run off the last family that lived there.  No warning, Daniel and Chelsea Green had up and left one day the month before, taking nothing but their yappy little rat dog with them.  A realtor came in a week later to pack up the house and put it on the market.  Jenny thought it could have been because she'd left that anonymous note for Tony, maybe he'd confronted them.  It was only fair that he knew he was being humiliated in front of the whole neighborhood.  He and Juanita still seemed to be doing just fine though, so he must not have cared that much about the threesomes his wife was having with the couple next door.  

She pushed through her front door and threw her shit on the couch, calling for Mr. Darcy, "Meow, meow, meow, kitty, kitty, kitty!"  The overweight tomcat would ignore her until he was ready to waddle out from whatever silk pillow he'd pissed on when he realized he was out of cat food.  Jenny didn't bother looking for him, she was more interested in getting on her laptop so she could check her paypal account and get back to Google.   

Tall, Dark and Blue Tarp was getting more and more mysterious with every empty search return.  The local tax assessor's site told her his name, Victor Stone.  Fucking yum.  And it told her Mr. Stone got the house for a bargain, the Green's were desperate indeed to take that kind of a loss.  A hefty price to pay for a few gangbangs with the slut next door.  

Jenny made her way into the kitchen to grab a cold Chimay, then slowed in the hallway to pull off her slacks and panties.  She needed full access in case there was a repeat of what had happened last week, and she settled into her overstuffed chair eagerly, laptop planted across her legs, totally naked except for her work blouse.  The chair was placed strategically so she could see everything that went on across the street, the window cracked just enough to hear without people knowing she was eavesdropping.  Last week she'd seen two of Juanita's friends fuck on the hood of a car before they left the Book Club meeting.  Tall Skinny Snow White Blonde and Short Thick Honey Gold Blonde.  They'd made out in the dark street a few times before, but that was the first time they'd full on fucked for the world to see.

Jenny had never made out with any girls, not even when her friends were doing it in college, but if there were any woman she'd want to stick her tongue in, it would have been Honey Gold.  Honey was gorgeous and shapely, like she belonged in one of those paintings by Manet, enormous titties and a round ass on a tiny five foot frame.  Snow White was gross though, like Skeletor with bad hair.  She'd watched from her overstuffed chair by the window as Skeletor and Honey Gold waited until their friends were all gone, then they'd started kissing.  Skeletor sat on the hood of her little sportscar and pulled her friend to her, running her hands all over Honey's ass.  Jenny had watched disinterestedly as they kissed a few minutes until suddenly Skeletor stood up and pushed Honey over the hood of the car.  

Honey bent at the waist submissively, her hair hanging in her face as she'd held herself up, her palms flat against the steel.  Her high heels must have been six inches, her back arched in a half-circle, her perfectly round ass stood poised for exploration.  When Skeletor reached into Honey's waistband and pulled her pants to the ground, Jenny's panties flooded.  She hadn't expected something like that to happen.  Honey spread her legs as wide as they'd go without having to take the pants off entirely.  Jenny had never seen anything like it, they were perfectly illuminated under the streetlights and hadn't given a damn who might see.  

Skeletor moved her hands in circles over Honey's ass until Honey bounced it up and down seductively, begging for more attention.  Jenny had thrown her laptop to the couch by then and stripped to her t-shirt so she could get off on the live porn going down in front of her house.  She'd sat back in the overstuffed chair, her fingers running softly over her nipples, watching through the blinds in her dark living room as Skeletor bent over to lap enthusiastically at Honey's pussy.  Honey must have been close to cumming, her titties heaved up and down dramatically and she'd thrown her head back in rapture.  Skeletor grabbed her by the hips to keep her from bucking away until she'd finished the assault, then she stood and ran one hand up Honey's back, pushing her head down toward the hood of the car.  She held her there and started running her fingers over her friend's slick pussy until Honey yelled, "Fuck me already!"  

Skeletor dipped her fingers into the wet snatch slowly, taking her time to tease her until Honey thrust her ass back demanding more.  She pulled out and inserted more fingers to bang her friend wildly on the hood of her car, right there in the street, and Honey moaned loud enough for Jenny to lurch forward in her chair unexpectedly.  She'd shoved her fingers between her legs and circled her clit roughly until she came hard and furious.  It hadn't taken long, but by the time her own orgasm subsided and she looked back out the window, Honey was racing to pull up her pants as a pair of headlights approached.  Skeletor had laughed and slapped her hard on the ass, they'd kissed briefly once the car passed and then went their separate ways.  

She'd replayed the scene dozens of times over the last week, and Jenny wasn't going in unprepared this time.  If they showed up tonight and went for round two, she was getting that shit on film.  She'd already charged the batteries on her camera, and ordered a pizza, which should have been there already.  There was still plenty of time before the sluts would start filing out of Juanita's house, she'd just fuck around on the Internet until the action picked up.  

Lights off, laptop on, Jenny checked her paypal account first.  What the hell?  It was only ten dollars heavier than it had been the night before.  If Jenny was going to come up with the rest of the money for the lipo and butt lift, Ethan would have to take a turn for the worst.  He'd probably need surgery, something big.  Maybe another repaired heart valve, something the doctors hadn't been able to do until he got a little older.  Her poor fake son, he'd been dealt a pretty rough hand.  Interwebz Munchausen's Syndrome.  It sucked having to make him so sick. 

She'd spent over a year cultivating relationships with the hundreds of women in the internet mommy groups, and the time and money she'd put into creating her online persona needed to start paying off soon.  She'd already had the consultation with the plastic surgeon and only needed about fifteen hundred more dollars before she could schedule the first surgery.  Jenny could have just paid for it out of her own savings account, she did make a mean salary.  As the head accountant for a local upstart software firm, the quarter mil she pulled in every year was no chump change, especially not for a single woman.  But she'd be damned if she was going to pay for plastic surgery with her hard earned money, not when the overindulged skinny rich bitches she'd met online were so eager to toss money at her to help care for the fatherless son who lived with half a dozen life-threatening illnesses and required more and more treatments that drained her bank account.  

As far as Jenny was concerned, those fucktards were responsible for her low self-esteem to begin with.  It was only fair that they pay for all the crap she needed to feel better about herself, and if they were stupid enough to toss money at a total stranger on the internet, they only had themselves to blame.  It had been a pretty profitable enterprise, she had more than five thousand dollars stuffed away.  As long as nobody found out about it, she was in good shape.  

 They'd never find out though, she'd spent months meticulously putting together her fake life, photoshopping pictures, creating a fake background, even putting together a fake credit report.  Working in finance had helped, it hadn't been as hard as she expected when she'd first decided to take it on.

Pretending to be interested in everybody else's lives?  That was the hard part.  In order to make people care about a fake terminally ill child, Jenny had to sell them on how much she cared.  The less she asked for money, and the more she feigned interest in their lives, the more they wanted to give her.  She learned early on that she'd have to start a spreadsheet to keep up with whose husband worked where, whose kids learned to walk when, whose parents had been the alcoholics and whose parents had been in politics.  It was a carefully played game of chess.  Ask if their baby was over the cold they had last week, offer condolences, wait for them to open the door, casually mention the upcoming surgery and all the extra work hours needed in order to cover the expense.  Then wake up the next morning to another couple hundred dollars in the paypal account.

The money used to roll in pretty regularly, but some new bitch had come on the scene recently.  Nicole.  Her kid had some skin disease, or maybe it was Leukemia, and all of Jenny's friends had been busy supporting her through a recent trip to St. Jude's.  Jenny was suspicious of Nicole, she'd looked into her, but it would have been dangerous to mention it to her friends.  It was safer to play the naive and unassuming observer, "No way!  She'd never pretend her child had cancer just to make friends!  Noooooo, people don't do that!  Do they?"  Jenny was a master at this game.  She could spot a troll a million miles away.

Pizza Boy pulled up, and Jenny raced to the bathroom to fix her hair and take off her bra.  She squeezed her nipples until they were hard, adjusting her shirt to make sure they were visible through the fabric.  Sweeping her hair to the side, she reached for the hand towel and wiped the sweat from her face.  Then she reached down and wiped between her legs.  Convinced she was as casually sexy as any other bitch in the neighborhood, she went to answer the door.  

She'd been hinting at hooking up for months, but Pizza Boy was dumb.  Jenny drew the door open and stood back, her weight shifted to one leg as she balanced against the door frame and ran a bare foot seductively up her calf.  Pizza Boy's face turned red and Jenny smiled.  He should have been an easy lay, he couldn't have been more than twenty.  Probably still a virgin considering the way he reacted.  Tsk tsk.  Such a baby.

"Well hey," she said throatily, "Bring it right in here, I'll have to get my checkbook."

"Ummm," he started as he stepped cautiously through the door, "You paid with a credit card."

"I sure did," Jenny shot back easily, "Well let me get you a tip then!"  She turned and walked slowly toward the living room, careful to sway her hips side to side, her ass hanging from underneath the blouse.  She glanced back to make sure he was following, then leaned over at the waist to reach into her purse, deliberately giving Pizza Boy the money shot while she pretended to dig for a five dollar bill.

"Oh, here it is!" she finally said, turning back to where he stood in the foyer.  He'd laid the pizza on her side table and she drew up to him, placing the money in his hand while she grazed his hard dick through his jeans.  

Pizza Boy jumped nervously and stuttered, "I, uh, thanks, I have a few more deliveries."

"You're pretty good at making deliveries," Jenny purred, "I'd like to order some sausage, can you bring me some next time?  Maybe after you get off later?"  She pulled his hand down between her legs and ran his fingers through her wet snatch, and Pizza Boy's mouth dropped open.

"Uh, yeah," he said nervously, "Yeah, sure, I can do that."  Boom.  Jenny knew she had him.  She ran her hands across the red Charlie's Fine Italian Pizza shirt until she found and pinched his nipples.  He flinched and pulled back toward the door, probably not wanting to start something he couldn't finish.

"Thanks, Pizza Boy," Jenny said as he flew down the sidewalk, "I'll be waiting for your delivery!"

Juanita's house was buzzing across the street, Slut Patrol was on full alert.  Tall, Dark and Blue Tarp had some bizarre light coming from the garage window, but his truck was gone.  Damn!  She'd missed him leaving.  Oh fucking well, it was worth it if it meant she'd be humping Pizza Boy in a few hours.  

Three hours later, the pizza was half-eaten and Juanita's friends had started leaving.  Tall, Dark and Blue Tarp pulled into his driveway around 11:30, but he'd gone straight into the garage and Jenny had been distracted watching Honey get into her car to leave.  Skeletor and Honey Gold left without putting on another show.  Total disappointment.  Pizza Boy never showed back up.  He must not have understood.  Poor thing.  Next time she'd have to be more aggressive.  

Annoyed by the evening's entertainment fails, Jenny went to bed around midnight.  She got up the next morning to leave for work, locked her front door and made her way down the sidewalk to where she'd parked in the street.  It was still pretty early, the sun was barely peeking over the horizon, but it was bright enough to see that Neighbor Boy had taken down the blue tarp.  It was hanging over the fence on the side of his house.  Drying?  That was weird.

She started her car, turned around in a driveway, then drove down the street towards the interstate, slowing when she saw Neighbor Boy making his way out of the garage.  Holy shit, he didn't have a shirt on.  This was her chance.  She rolled down the window and called, "Hey! I'm Jenny from the block!"  He didn't laugh, but looked at her seriously.  He was working hard, busy dragging a rolled up piece of old carpet to the street, his biceps flexing at the weight of it.  It wasn't just his biceps flexing, his whole body screamed STRONG AS A MOTHERFUCKER.  

"Hello, Jenny," he said, unsmiling as the carpet dropped with a thud, "It's nice to meet you."  And with that, he turned and walked back up the driveway, going back to whatever project he was working on.  So he was fine as fuck AND he got up early to get shit done around the house.  A man with a mission.  Jenny liked that.  Too many men these days were just lazy sacks of shit.  

Jenny hit the gas and sped off to the office.  Fuck Pizza Boy, Jenny had a mission of her own now, she was going to make Neighbor Boy smile.  

Continue to CHAPTER THREE...